Blog!

Baberaham Lincoln!

We're taking a note from Springsteen this week and bringing back the classics. Rowdy up, y'all - 4th of July is next week! When you buy American-made products, you are not only helping boost local economies and small businesses, but you're supporting hundreds of families and putting your money back into communities. From our hearts to yours, thank you FOREVER for your support. Now let's party. Whatever celebrations you have in store, you are guaranteed to be 200% more festive with a trusty sidekick named Baberaham Lincoln. Baberaham Lincoln is 30% off all week!
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Liberty-Rex!

America-Day is on the way and you KNOW what that means: a chance to put aside our differences for one day (ONE. DAY.) and unite together out of genuine love of county.  A day of not yelling at your weird uncle on Facebook about reptilian overlords. Twenty-four full hours of uninterrupted goodwill and celebration. Hotdogs and beer. Flags and grills. Fireworks and dinosaurs. Dinosaurs? (Spiraling about Jurassic Park is a classic American pasttime. Yes. Dinosaurs.)Liberty-Rex is 30% off all week! 
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Dad!

Papabear. Dada. Popsicle. Faja. Pop Pop. Babbo. Papoose. Dadoo. Poppers or Poopers. Whatever you call the man, you've see the guy in his underwear and he's subjected you to a lifetime of mediocre #DadJokes. He deserves this. Happy Daddy Day, y'all. Dad Freakers & Freaker Feet are 30% off all week!
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You're Crushing It!

Once upon a time, in a land full of tropes, a young man was on a never-ending journey, searching for validation and approval from his father. PLOT TWIST: The father ALSO wanted nothing more than basic recognition and love. PLOT TWIST #2: The son gave his papa a "You're Crushing It" Father's Day Freaker, sparking a new dawn of Father-Son-Narratives where each character respects each other fully and gives constant positive-reinforcement for daily actions. And they lived happily ever after, dropkicking Freud's legacy in the face. With love.  SAY WHAT? (Interpretation: Tell yo' daddy he's doing a great job!)  You're Crushing It is 30% off all week! 
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Snailed It!

TREAT YOURSELF TO SELF-LOVE AND VALIDATION. Things to give yourself today: 1. A pat on the shell. 2. A piece of well-deserved credit. 3. An emotionally-thoughtful gift symbolizing the undying appreciation you have for your own accomplishments as a cognizant snail. 4. Some gosh-darn peace & quiet. You escarGO, GIRL. Snailed It Freakers are 30% off all week!
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Smart Ass

To the graduating class of 2017;  You're perfect. You're beautiful. You look like Linda Evangelista. You're an academic Van Damme. You just climbed your educational summits and threw that damn hat off the top. You're the human equivalent of a hyper-literate donkey. Congratulations, my kittens, you're officially a smart ass. P.S. Wear sunscreen.  Smart Ass Freakers are 30% off all week! 
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Sorry, Mom

This spring, stay fashionable with the newest & hottest fad: Questionable Choices are SO ON TREND this season! Questionable Choices + Mothers Day = not just reserved for Mom Tattoos anymore! Bring home a baby goat to help with yardwork! A box of chocolates ...laced with hallucinogenics to surprise her with a trip back to her youth! An all-paid vacation to Fyre Festival! (Or you can stick with the classics by grabbing a bottle-of-her-favorite-whatever & throwing a mom tattoo Freaker over it to avert any fears of your questionable choices being permanent, only to slowly reveal your newest "Mom" face tat.) Sorry, Mom Freakers are 30% off all week!
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Salt Life!

Ladies and señores, this week marks the annual international celebration of extra guacamole, extra tequila, and extra telling Napoleon TO SHOVE IT. Raise a margarita glass to any excuse for more tacos, because Cinco De Mayo is coming atcha fast! Throw a sombrero on top of ...literally anything, and let's fiesta. Salt Life Freakers are 30% off all week!
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Neckolas Cage!

OOOOOH WEE! Spring has us feeling Wild At Heart!! We don't need a Weatherman to tell us that the sun is shining, and with the wind breezing through our Con Hair - we've officially been Moonstruck. Having never been good at poker Face-Offs, we're letting our excitement beam through by raising the roof and Raising Arizoona with our favorite spotted National Treasure - Neckolas Cage!  Get yours now, because stock might just be Gone In 60 Seconds.  Neckolas Cage Freakers & Freaker Feet are 30% off all week! 
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Blackbeer!

It's Tax Day, everyone! Benjamin Franklin once said that only 2 things in life are certain: death and taxes. NOT IF YOU’RE A #^!%ING PIRATE, BENNY BOY. Interested in tax evasion? Learn from the masters, overuse the letter "r", plunder some booty, and TAKE TO THE SEA!  Disclaimer: We here at Freaker USA are UPSTANDING citizens and pay our taxes, our dog/s taxes, and the taxes of our imaginary childhood friends, just to be on the safe side of tax fraud. 30% off of Blackbeer Freakers all week! 
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The Great Catsby

Tis the season of garden soirees, oversized feather hats, and endless supplies of catnip. Fancy pants or fancy feast, female or feline, man or maine coon - let's party. The Great Catsby Freakers & Freaker Feet are 30% off all week!
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Doggie Paddle!

Springtime = flingtime with the natural world. As soon as the buds start blooming, we humans take after our critter counterparts more and more: playing in the dirt, frolicking in the meadows, splish-splashing in any body of water we can find.  What if, when we're not looking, animals take on human habits too? In the dead of the night, your cat sneaks away to spend $1,500 on camping gear it will never use. Squirrels on jetskis. Paragliding lizards. A band of puppies chartering a fishing boat.  There's a springtime we can believe in.  30% off of Doggie Paddle Freakers & Freaker Feet all week! 
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