Blog!

Last week was spent wallowing on the floors of the Mandalay Bay convention center for POOL trade show. We've been floating in space ever since. Here's why:

In 2001, Vin Diesel shattered the world of philosophical thought with the simple phrase "I live my life a quarter mile at a time." Citizens of the world woke up, bought neon Hondas. They drove them fast. They drove them furiously. I like your logic, Vin, but it's 2013. Your catchphrase needs an upgrade. Sexy Sax Man knows it. We know it. You know it. "I live my life 6 seconds at a time." One Vine at a time.

This weekend we roamed the streets of California in a boxtruck house with a national hero. The entire experience seemed like a lucid dream of imaginary playwrights. After what this fake poet would call "an eternity," the Freakerteam and Sexy Sax Man finally had their moment to frolic in the fields of glory.

Once upon a time, the Freakerteam engaged themselves in a brutal Battle of the Sexes over a mysterious being that goes by the name of Sexy Sax Man. Dreams were shattered, whispers were careless and at the end of it all, every party threw up their arms and declared that they were never going to dance again. NEVER AGAIN. Until now. Ladies and gentlemen, if you are in the midst of an inter-gender [insert definition of your choice] conflict - there is a solution. We have teamed up with the Sexy Sax Man himself to bring you the sexiest and the saxiest of all the sexy saxy Freakers in history! AND if you have trouble sleeping at night, know this: for every Sexy Sax Man Freaker you buy, you'll be contributing to his personal sandwich fund. Without sandwiches, Sexy Sax Man would become unsexily malnourished and lack the energy to sex and sax all of your woes away! For those of you who have not been saxified, here is a revolutionary present for you.

Alternative Title: WE CAN PLAY THIS GAME TOO, YOU BIG DREAM-CRUSHING JERKS. Yesterday when the Freaker Office discovered that the Travelling Freaks had met their collective hero, Sexy Sax Man, they all but cried. (This is a lie. Some of them actually did cry.)  So the office decided that they were allowed to follow their dreams just as solidly as Zach and Oliver had followed the office's dreams. And thus emerged a beautiful love-phoenix from the ashes of Sexy-Sax-Man-Grief:

Alternative Title: THE ULTIMATE DEFEAT IN THE BOYS VS GIRLS PRANK-CHALLENGE WITH THE BOYS COMING INTO THE UNDENIABLE LEAD AND THE GIRLS WEEPING SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND SUCKAAAAAZZZZZZ Alternative Alternative Title: THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES.  Yesterday as we danced around our tradeshow cube, we started to hear majestic murmurs.... splendid wisps of extravagance.... one might even say... careless whispers.  Before we go any further, we'd like to educate those of you out there who have never had the uncomfortable pleasure of experiencing the Sexy Sax Man: